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Enslaved By The Bell

Inter-dimensional existentialism as viewed through Bayside High: a comedy podcast featuring two idiots from Ireland.
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Enslaved By The Bell
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Now displaying: 2015
Dec 20, 2015

Kelly joins the human resistance and leaves her baby brother in the care of Zack and the gang; who proceed to shenanigan the hell out of childcare. Mr Belding has memory loss, as do the lads in today's episode.

Episode: "Babysitters"

Dec 6, 2015

Zack dresses as a horrible racial stereotype of a Native American, which is bad. Zack then learns to earnestly explore his native roots, which is good? Listen to some white lads from Ireland try to grapple with these questions of identity and fail miserably.  We also talk a bit about Scientology.

Episode: “Running Zack”

Nov 29, 2015

The gang’s movie project leads to a run in with Clumsy Mulder, and a government conspiracy to find and kill extraterrestrial beings. We delve deep into the troubling light that has been shone on the true nature of Screech and Kevin the Robot and whether or not Neil O’ Neill makes an appearance today.

Episode: “Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”

Nov 22, 2015

The gang monetise Lisa's ability to give people advice and set up a phone line and Kelly's little sister has a crush on Zack.

Then, unbeknownst to audiences in 1990, the Teen Line was kept alive by our old friends Mullet Mike, Kevin the Robot and Neil O' Neill.

Episode: "1-900-CRUSHED"

Nov 15, 2015

We were a bit put off by the show's negative attitude towards nerds at the top of this week's episode, but soon forgot that as we were faced by an even bigger, more grotesque fish to fry. This is the episode where the girls are put into a non-consensual swimsuit calendar.

Episode: "Model Students"

Nov 8, 2015

Twenty years after Jessie chased the caffeine dragon, we are joined by very special guests Tom Maher and Sorcha Ní Lochlainn. Mr Dewey's drug empire, the logistics of singing while doing aerobics, and Rob and Conall take relief in someone else understanding their own perilous addiction to sweet Mother Bayside.

Episode (do we even need to say it?): “Jessie’s Song”

 

Oct 25, 2015

Rob plays his A-game as we thrash out the ethical implications of school beauty pageants. Conall has imbued a few too many glasses of fermented apple juice today.  Mullet Mike also makes his first serious intervention in the Bayside saga. We'll be off next week for Halloween but will be back with "Jessie's Song" ASAP.

 

Episode: “Miss Bayside”

Oct 18, 2015

Peter Morris is clearly lying six feet under a Bayside ditch, because Zack's got a new Dad! This one's a dynamic go-getter eighties computer salesman. Max has seemingly been shown the door, only to be replaced by another waiter with a shtick. We also wonder how much skin to skin contact is necessary to transmit herpes.

Episode: "Rent-a-Pop"

Oct 11, 2015

Mr Belding’s inter-dimensional war against Zack takes a left turn with the introduction of his niece, Penny Belding. Meanwhile, Rob observes the cunning antics of cut throat teenage millionaire Neil O’ Neill, posing as a harmless extra.

And Kelly has a birthday party.

Episode: “Blind Dates”

Oct 4, 2015

Despite some initial bickering, and an extensive discussion on the past two decades of American Children’s television, Conall and Rob eventually blather on about an episode featuring Bayside’s answer to Oswald Cobblepot, Screech’s Freudian Elvis complex, and Dustin Diamond’s true moment in the sun.

Episode: “House Party”

Sep 27, 2015

The young blackguards at Bayside High learn how to handle a motor vehicle as Rob and Conall reflect on how they have reached a quarter century without that basic adult skill. Conall notices he’s been piling on the pounds recently and the nature of space and time are once again bent by a Kelly hungry Zack Morris.

Episode:  “Driver’s Education”

Sep 20, 2015

A couple of self important idiots sit in front of a microphone, and review Saved By The Bell.

Episode: "Save The Max"

Sep 13, 2015

Luke Maxwell from The Movie Express Podcast wanders into our podcast again to warm up our feeble hearts as the American military struggles to cope with the sudden outbreak of world peace and begins to search for younger cannon fodder in the halls of Bayside High. Telenovelas and AI conspiracies for human extinction also feature.

Episode: "Zack's War"

Aug 16, 2015

The charismatic sex bomb that is Aonghus Ó Lochlainn returns this week as the gang engage in what is definitely their most terrifying bout of misogyny yet.

 

Episode: “The Zack Tapes”

Aug 15, 2015

We've now traversed the mountain that is Season One of Saved By the Bell, having first waded through the dung pits of Good Morning Miss Bliss. We finally get to put some faces on the spectre that is Valley High as the gang are involved in a prisoner exchange. We're taking next week off but we'll be back on the sixth of September to shove our faces into Season Two.

Episode: "Save That Tiger"

Aug 9, 2015

This Sunday we witness the fallacy that is the Bayside democratic system. We’re also joined by Big Gus Fun-gus Aounghos Ó Lochlainn. Mr Belding pumps some fantastic Iron and Mr Dewey learns to go deadpan.

 

Episode: “The Election”

Aug 1, 2015

This week the six main characters get fake-married as part of a social studies project consisting of a series of improv workshops. We planned to do two episodes this week, but we ran away with ourselves and ultimetaly that promise (like some of the featured marital promises) was broken. "The Election" is coming up next time!

Episode: "The Mamas and the Papas"

Jul 26, 2015

Saved By the Bell has truly left the confines of our humble planet as we encounter Kevin The Robot, Gorbachev, satellites and Dustin Diamond's plastic hair-hat. Karl Marx and Ayn Rand clash in an epic middle school startup battle for the ages.

Episodes: "Beauty and the Screech," "The Friendship Business"

Jul 19, 2015

This week Conall is joined by the ethereal disembodied voice of a recently deceased Rob, who speaks to us from a booze and hammock filled afterlife. Meanwhile a sentient robot named Kevin takes up residence in Bayside.

We'll be back next week with a return to the aul episode format.

Jul 12, 2015

The lads are noticeably suffering the residual effects of excessive consumption of citric acid today, but their spirits remain high. Kelly has a personality independent of Zack and Slater, and learns that homecoming queens can be maroon. Slater learns that tough guys can also make beautiful cakes. We jumped the gun a little bit and thought we we’d made a whole extra episode of this podcast.

 

Episodes: “Cream for a Day” and Pinned to the Mat”

Jul 5, 2015

Actually some pretty good viewing this week .We meet Slater’s Army Dad and Belding’s a pretty nice guy. The show does an excellent job of selling the myth that young adolescent fellas should learn Shakespeare because it really impresses the ladies. Conall feels some kinship with Jessie Spano and recounts a bit of his youth.

 

Episodes: “Aloha Slater”, “The Substitute”

Jun 30, 2015

Characteristically late with their podcast, Rob and Conall desperately try to pull the wool over the eyes of their dwindling fans by recording an episode on Rob's laptop insetad of with the podcasting mic. Nevertheless fun is had as Zack reveals a penchant for World War II technology, Screech gets spider-sense and Rob's lovable dog Wallace chimes in with his thoughts on this week's episodes. 

Jun 21, 2015

Once again, the episode takes place from beyond the confines of the lonely studio as Rob is forced to give his input over the phone. Against all the expectations of the lads, this doesn't otherwise affect the professionalism and quality of the discussion as Rob and Conall discuss the ethics of Lisa and of Zack as they respectively play the ones closest to them for personal gain. It must be Sunday so. 

Episodes: "The Lisa Card" and "Fatal Distraction"

Jun 13, 2015

Conall didn't quite make it to the studio this week, but joins us by a satellite mobile carphone connection to a public park on the other side of the city. The Bayside gang submit themselves to the horrors of the Clap-O-Meter, arousing some painful memories for Rob.

Episode: "Dancing to the Max"

Jun 3, 2015

At last the lads cross the threshold into the hallowed halls of Bayside, leaving behind the shackles of Miss Bliss and her wretched Middle School. Here they meet the previously unheard of Jessie Spano, the uncomfortably sexualised Kelly Kapowski and the sudden Californian surroundings. And that isn't even taking into account the 5th Dimensional Wall-Breaking God Powers Zack now has. NOW we are Saved. Join us in the Halls.

 

Episode: "King of the Hill

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